By Sam Bhagwat
of The Valley Mirror
If I had to compile a list of the 10 most annoying questions to answer, “Tell me about yourself,” would probably be number one.
Sadly, it seems to come up over and over again. College admission essays. Cover letters for jobs. And now, my first day on the job. Thanks, Tim.
I suppose I could pen something sarcastic and self-promoting. “Sam Bhagwat, a junior in economics at Stanford University, felt so tragically unmotivated by taking econ classes that he crammed all his earthly possessions into his friend’s mom’s minivan, rolled down the windows, and drove off to Glenn County, CA.”
But really, I’d rather leave it to my mom. She’s been doing it for 19 and a half years, after all.
So without further ado:
The Sacramento Valley Mirror: Tell me about your son.
Haika Gay: “Oh my God, ‘Tell me about your son’? Ask me the next question.”
Valley Mirror: No.
Haika Gay: “Oh God, how do I do this. I can’t do this off the top of my head. Can I think about this and call back?”
Valley Mirror: [rolls eyes] Sure.
Fifteen minutes later, the organized part of her personality had taken over, and she was responding to my questions with lists.
Valley Mirror: Tell me about your son.
Haika Gay: “A tall kid with a goofy smile. Absent-minded. Intense. Awkward. Honest. Straightforward. Lacks common sense. Hardheaded. Stubborn.”
Valley Mirror: Why’s he here?
Haika Gay: “He’s in Willows because he’s been going to school continuously since he was little; he needed a break, some time to think, some time in the working world.”
Valley Mirror: What’s his most annoying quirk?
Haika Gay: “His forgetfulness.
“He forgets things he has to do, forgets places he has to be. He was flying from Philadelphia to Florida. Got there too late, went to the wrong terminal, and ended up having to re-buy the ticket I already bought – at three times the price. Any number of late fees he’s had to pay … He forgets his retainer, forgets his phone charger, forgets his electric toothbrush; is always packing at the last minute; is always assuring me he has everything and always forgetting something.”
And in conclusion?
“Drives me crazy and makes me laugh all at the same time. I love him to death.”
Despite neglecting the first rule of reporting (“If your mother tells you she loves you, check it out”), Sam is excited about spending the next six months in Willows, and is determined that his listed faults will not interfere with his job. Forgetfulness? Notes!